Allow Characters to Feel Their Feelings

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We authors have a few tricks at our disposal to tell characters’ feelings. These techniques are fast and easy. They get the job done … or do they? The question is what job gets done and for whom?

Job done for author. The author can approach his deadline quicker, keep down word count, and get on with the plot.

Job done for reader. The reader must conjure up what the feeling looks like, is distanced from the character, and gives fewer stars in his review.

First, what are these techniques and, second, how can writers do a better job?

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Naming a feeling

The author tells the reader the character is sad, angry, frustrated, scared, etc.

  • Sad, Annie turned and walked away.
  • Anger coursed through Fiona.
  • Millie feared what would happen.

The reader searches his feelings bank and tries to imagine what sad, anger, or fear looks like for this particular instance and for this particular character.

Using a prepositional phrase to name the feeling

Sometimes an author thinks he’s showed a feeling by couching the feeling in a prepositional phrase using such prepositions as with, in, or of.

  • Annie was filled with sadness.
  • Fiona made her decision in anger.
  • Millie experienced a feeling of fear at what could happen.

Add a strong verb in naming the feeling.

Sometimes an author thinks she’s solved the telling problem by adding a strong verb.

  • Sadness seeped through Annie.
  • Anger raced inside Fiona.
  • Fear zinged Millie’s heart.

Using made or caused.

Sometimes an author thinks he’s showing if he tells what made or caused the feeling.

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 His harsh words made Annie sad.
• The pitiable choices available caused Fiona’s anger.
• The gorilla made her happy.

 

 

How to Bring Feelings Alive Without Naming Them

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  1. Show what happens to people physically when they have the feeling.
  2. Give thoughts to the character that go along with the feeling.
  3. Give your characters behaviors and actions people do when they experience that feeling.

Examples

1. Cade read the letter reporting Gram’s death and was filled with sadness.

Cade read the letter reporting Gram’s death. His heart so heavy he could barely breathe, he raised his gaze to the old family photo on the mantel. Out of all the grandchildren, Gram’s hands rested on his young shoulders. His shoulders now warmed then cooled. Had Gram stopped for one final visit before going to Jesus? He looked back at the letter. A tear dropped onto her name and dissolved the ink into a blur.

2. Jake’s aloofness made Lauren angry, and she left infuriated.

Heat climbed Lauren’s neck. Just who did the creep think he was? Ignore her? How about this? She marched past him, making sure her handbag rammed him in the gut.

3. Sandy feared the look in Slade’s eyes.

Sandy stepped back, her heart pounding her ribcage. What was going on in Slade’s mind behind his smoldering gaze? Could she get to the door before he did?

Three ways to show characters’ feelings. Click to tweet.

What action, thought, or physical reaction would show a character’s frustration?

COOKING UP KISSES – has earned an Amazon #1 bestseller ribbon in two categories!

Five scrumptious e-book romance novellas, all for $0.99 or free on KindleUnlimited. Here’s the link.  Here are the blurbs:

 

 

 

THE INVISIBLE WOMAN IN A RED DRESS BY ZOE M. McCARTHY

Candace Parks lives a passionless life in Richmond. The computer programmer returns to the empty family home in the Blue Ridge Mountains solely to evaluate her job, faith, and boyfriend. Her high school crush, Trigg Alderman, who barely remembers her, visits his Gram next door. Sorting her life out? How about nothing of the sort!

 

LOVE ON A DARE BY MARY MANNERS

Alana Mulvaney’s life is in a holding pattern. Consumed by day-to-day operations of the family business, Alana has no time for fun or romance. But a little fun and a whole lot of romance is just what Alana’s sisters have in mind when they learn childhood friend Donovan O’Reilly has returned to town.
Donovan O’Reilly has loved Alana Mulvaney since he moved in next door to her at the age of five. But he broke her heart when he was forced to leave town, and now that he’s returned home to Winding Ridge he has a second chance to prove himself. But is it too late to earn her trust…and her love…again?

HUMMINGBIRD KISSES BY DELIA LATHAM

Toni Littlebird believes that when she meets the man God created for her, she’ll know—and she’ll love him in that very moment.
But then Dax Hendrick roars into Hummingbird Hollow on a noisy, crippled Harley, stinking up the air and chasing away her beloved hummingbirds. One look into the intruder’s eyes and her heart sinks. He’s “The One.” She’d been right about knowing, but wrong about something far more important: She will never love this man!

HEARTS ON THE HARBOR BY ROBIN BAYNE

Cara Peyton is content with her life, her trendy Baltimore bookshop is perfect for her. But when her ex turns up to remodel the store, asking for a second chance, she’s torn and unsure about risking her heart again. Can he convince her to trust him, and God, before the job is finished?

 

 

HIS VALENTINE PROMISE BY DORA HIERS

Another Valentine’s Day and Quinn Randolph prefers to spend it with her sweet rescue lab. Who needs men and their broken promises? Especially Pierce Karson’s! Years ago, his desertion shattered her. Now he’s trying to steal the property she targeted to expand her florist shop! Pierce only wants to belong…and for Quinn to choose him. His Valentine Promise…

Create Believable Criminal Characters

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All characters should have flaws. Only some will be inherently mean. How mean should a criminal character be?

I met young men in an eight-year prison ministry. Inmates, called cadets and incarcerated at a juvenile correctional center, attended our church’s monthly Bible study.

So, what were they like?

All had been convicted of committing crimes against others,

    many were gang members,

        some were manipulative,

            some were repeat offenders, and

                a few would be transferred to an adult prison at age 21.

image by Dieter_G

I noticed other behaviors.

All loved the time to give their prayer requests for family and friends,

    almost all participated in the Bible study activities,

        many voiced appreciation that we took time to visit them,

            some offered to pray the closing prayer, and

                a few said God had put them there to get their attention.

Here are stories that taught me many of these young men weren’t inherently bad.

Put on the Dots

I’d written the verses of the Twenty-third Psalm on large strips of paper and displayed them around the room. I gave each cadet three sticky dots to adhere to the verses that spoke most to them. They wandered around the room reading and re-reading the verses before they placed their dots on the panels.

By far, the verse receiving the most dots was: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (King James Version) Most thought they walked through “the shadow of death” and coveted God’s presence.

Kindness

In one activity, the cadets each read a verse from an easy-to-read Bible version. They didn’t have to read, but one cadet slowly stumbled through his verse. What touched me was the cadet sitting next to him who gently helped him with the words he didn’t know.

Christmas

At Christmas, I moved nativity people, animals, and the angel around as I told the story of Jesus’ birth. Afterwards, while the other cadets moved to an activity, a tall cadet approached me. In the rumble of chatter from the other cadets, it was as if he and I were in our own vignette. He looked into my eyes and respectfully asked, “Is Christmas Jesus’ birthday?” He’d had a revelation and wanted to make sure he’d heard right.

Lights Out

image by amo

One evening, my husband and I led a study near the guard station. Our guard stepped out for a moment. The room went black. As guards ran up and down the halls, my husband and I sat in the dark with ten maximum security cadets. We and the cadets remained seated until the back-up lights came on three minutes later. We had experienced no fear.

Transformation

A cadet knew I was an author. Through the prison activities director, he sent me a short story he’d written about a criminal’s remorse, forgiveness, and redemption.

If our story criminals are to be believable we must look deeper inside them, judiciously using positive and negative traits.

Create believable criminal characters using positive and negative traits. Click to tweet.

What have you observed that would make a criminal character realistic?

COOKING UP KISSES – has earned an Amazon #1 bestseller ribbon in two categories!

Five scrumptious e-book romance novellas, all for $0.99 or free on KindleUnlimited. Here’s the link.  Here are the blurbs:

 

 

 

THE INVISIBLE WOMAN IN A RED DRESS BY ZOE M. McCARTHY

Candace Parks lives a passionless life in Richmond. The computer programmer returns to the empty family home in the Blue Ridge Mountains solely to evaluate her job, faith, and boyfriend. Her high school crush, Trigg Alderman, who barely remembers her, visits his Gram next door. Sorting her life out? How about nothing of the sort!

 

LOVE ON A DARE BY MARY MANNERS

Alana Mulvaney’s life is in a holding pattern. Consumed by day-to-day operations of the family business, Alana has no time for fun or romance. But a little fun and a whole lot of romance is just what Alana’s sisters have in mind when they learn childhood friend Donovan O’Reilly has returned to town.
Donovan O’Reilly has loved Alana Mulvaney since he moved in next door to her at the age of five. But he broke her heart when he was forced to leave town, and now that he’s returned home to Winding Ridge he has a second chance to prove himself. But is it too late to earn her trust…and her love…again?

HUMMINGBIRD KISSES BY DELIA LATHAM

Toni Littlebird believes that when she meets the man God created for her, she’ll know—and she’ll love him in that very moment.
But then Dax Hendrick roars into Hummingbird Hollow on a noisy, crippled Harley, stinking up the air and chasing away her beloved hummingbirds. One look into the intruder’s eyes and her heart sinks. He’s “The One.” She’d been right about knowing, but wrong about something far more important: She will never love this man!

HEARTS ON THE HARBOR BY ROBIN BAYNE

Cara Peyton is content with her life, her trendy Baltimore bookshop is perfect for her. But when her ex turns up to remodel the store, asking for a second chance, she’s torn and unsure about risking her heart again. Can he convince her to trust him, and God, before the job is finished?

 

 

HIS VALENTINE PROMISE BY DORA HIERS

Another Valentine’s Day and Quinn Randolph prefers to spend it with her sweet rescue lab. Who needs men and their broken promises? Especially Pierce Karson’s! Years ago, his desertion shattered her. Now he’s trying to steal the property she targeted to expand her florist shop! Pierce only wants to belong…and for Quinn to choose him. His Valentine Promise…

When Do Writers Believe They’ve Arrived as Authors?

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Many writers think they’re bona fide authors when they’ve published a book. Today, anyone can publish books through CreateSpace, or the like. Others think accumulating thousands of fans shows they’ve arrived. But what about authors who have smaller followings of loyal fans? For me, I think what makes an author is what makes an accountant, a teacher, a hairdresser, or a pastor.

Here are personal examples of what I mean.

Teacher

A young man in the school where I taught accepted a teaching position because he needed a job. He didn’t prepare lessons, which put him on probation, and he complained about the students. At the day’s closing bell, he left faster than his pupils, taking home nothing. He taught, but he wasn’t a teacher.

image by Mohamed_hassan

After gaining a BA in math, I taught junior high science and math for three years. I didn’t have a degree in education, but I spent hours preparing lessons, searching for creative ways to get math across to my students. When at first I wasn’t reaching students on a person-to-person level, I consulted the department head and learned what students needed and wanted. I applied what I learned and connected with my pupils.

I didn’t want to pursue teaching as a career, but it was important to me that those children left my class prepared for next year’s classes. I think I was a teacher. Now I enjoy teaching in Bible studies and workshops for writers.

Author

image by Thedigitalartist

I wrote five completed manuscripts before I received a contract. On the first, I gained an agent, but the book was rejected for “not standout writing.” I studied books on the craft, attended writing conferences and workshops, joined critique groups, and entered contests for the feedback. For the second through fourth manuscripts, the rejections got better, inviting me to submit other stories. A publisher contracted my fifth. For my sixth manuscript, my publisher thought it was a good story, but the protagonist was unlikeable and too much about her sport was distracting. I reworked it four times before I received a contract.

For my seventh book, I tried some techniques I thought readers would enjoy. A different publisher contracted the book quickly.

Arriving

Then last year, I was invited to be part of a Valentine’s Day e-book collection with four other authors. I’d have no editor to help make my book shine. So, I hired an editor. I may never recover the cost, but I couldn’t publish something substandard.

That’s when I realized I’d arrived as an author.

Although the collection earned #1 bestseller ribbon in two categories on Amazon, which was wonderful for me and the other authors, I discovered striving for excellence for readers is what makes me feel like I’ve arrived as an author.

This means I’ll continue to learn my craft, subject my stories to criticism, and work to promote my books so readers in my audience can find them.

Is a published book or lots of fans what makes a writer feel like they’ve arrived as an author, or is it something more? Click to tweet.

What has or will make you think you have arrived as an author?

COOKING UP KISSES – has earned an Amazon #1 bestseller ribbon in two categories!

Five scrumptious e-book romance novellas, all for $0.99 or free on KindleUnlimited. Here’s the link.  Here are the blurbs:

 

 

 

THE INVISIBLE WOMAN IN A RED DRESS BY ZOE M. McCARTHY

Candace Parks lives a passionless life in Richmond. The computer programmer returns to the empty family home in the Blue Ridge Mountains solely to evaluate her job, faith, and boyfriend. Her high school crush, Trigg Alderman, who barely remembers her, visits his Gram next door. Sorting her life out? How about nothing of the sort!

 

LOVE ON A DARE BY MARY MANNERS

Alana Mulvaney’s life is in a holding pattern. Consumed by day-to-day operations of the family business, Alana has no time for fun or romance. But a little fun and a whole lot of romance is just what Alana’s sisters have in mind when they learn childhood friend Donovan O’Reilly has returned to town.
Donovan O’Reilly has loved Alana Mulvaney since he moved in next door to her at the age of five. But he broke her heart when he was forced to leave town, and now that he’s returned home to Winding Ridge he has a second chance to prove himself. But is it too late to earn her trust…and her love…again?

HUMMINGBIRD KISSES BY DELIA LATHAM

Toni Littlebird believes that when she meets the man God created for her, she’ll know—and she’ll love him in that very moment.
But then Dax Hendrick roars into Hummingbird Hollow on a noisy, crippled Harley, stinking up the air and chasing away her beloved hummingbirds. One look into the intruder’s eyes and her heart sinks. He’s “The One.” She’d been right about knowing, but wrong about something far more important: She will never love this man!

HEARTS ON THE HARBOR BY ROBIN BAYNE

Cara Peyton is content with her life, her trendy Baltimore bookshop is perfect for her. But when her ex turns up to remodel the store, asking for a second chance, she’s torn and unsure about risking her heart again. Can he convince her to trust him, and God, before the job is finished?

 

 

HIS VALENTINE PROMISE BY DORA HIERS

Another Valentine’s Day and Quinn Randolph prefers to spend it with her sweet rescue lab. Who needs men and their broken promises? Especially Pierce Karson’s! Years ago, his desertion shattered her. Now he’s trying to steal the property she targeted to expand her florist shop! Pierce only wants to belong…and for Quinn to choose him. His Valentine Promise…

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American Christian Fiction Writers

American Christian Fiction Writers

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