“There are no shortcuts in life – only those we imagine.” —Frank Leahy
Have you sunk over a thousand hours into a manuscript and sent out a proposal? Did letters dribble back with rejections? Or do you dread starting your next contracted book?
I watched a video on how to create a flyer. The woman point-and-clicked a tasteful bake sale flyer in about 3 minutes. So why not a novel?
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- Instead of sinking 1000 hours into your next novel, what if you could point-and-click it done?
click to tweet - Write a novel in 3 hours using the new software: Point & Click a Novel (P&CAN)?
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Step 1: Go to SETUP. Click on Audience. Point and click.
o Women < 40
o Women > 40
o Women = 40
o Teens going on 40
o Men
o Horse lovers
by PHZ D. WUJCIK
Step 2: Return to SETUP. Click on Genre. Point and click.
o Funny
o Serious
o Scary
o Car chases and Uzi battles
o Horse adventures (Dog & cat capers available in P&CAN’s premium version.)
Step 3: Return to SETUP. Click on Length. Point and click.
o Comic book
o Short story
o Novella
o Novel
o War & Peace
Step 4: Go to RULES. Click on one for each rule.
o 1__ Heroine’s point of view; 2__ Head hop; 3__Mustang’s point of view
o 1__ Ban adverbs; 2__Ban –ly adverbs; 3__Freely use very, really, and quite
o 1__Show 5 senses; 2__No touchy-feely; 3__No tasteless characters
o 1__Sprinkle clichés; 2__Use manicured lawn in settings; 3__Use proverbial often
Step 5: Go to TITLES. Click on option.
o One-word name, computer-generated from most popular first names.
o Find the perfect horse moniker here.
o Type in 3 words repeated often in the story. 1_____ 2_____ 3_____ (P&CAN will supply a title using all 3.)
o Title meaningless to the story but sounds great. (P&CAN guarantees the publisher won’t change this title.)
Step 6: Go to THEME. Choose and click.
o A rogue learns to be nice, or at least nicer.
o Aliens conquer transformers on the prairie and save the palominos.
o Count Duke marries Lord Earl’s niece to prevent a land war.
o Bad teen grows up, comes home, and finds himself.
o Good teen grows up, leaves home, and finds his long-lost preschool love.
o Murder stumps detective until he suspects his femme-fatale partner.
Step 7: Go to SAGGING MIDDLE FILLER. Choose and click.
o Heroine and chum catch up on events since 4-H club.
o Hero learns how to shoe a bucking bronco.
o Hero and heroine exchange letters while he makes his fortune on an oil rig.
o Uzi shootouts between camouflaged big-game hunters and aerobic ladies clad in paisley tights.
Step 8: Go to ENDINGS. Choose and click.
o Boy gets girl (Variation: Girl gets boy)
o Depressing but realistic
o Happy trails
o Cliff hanger
o Hero walks away unscathed from a car pile-up and collars the identify thief
Step 9: Go to Submit. Click. You should receive your novel in less than 2.5 hours.
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Tweetable
- Lighten your perspective on writing and keep on plugging.
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When the size of your new project sometimes outweighs your love of writing, how do you handle it?
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Funny. It took me a second read to get the full effect. Wish it were that easy!