5 Cases: How to Write Infrequent Phrases – Part 2

“Although writing badly is like dressing in lime skorts and an orange plaid sweater—people notice—publicly correcting a stranger’s writing is as rude as asking someone with a fashion problem “Did you think that looked good when you got dressed this morning?” —Mignon Fogarty (Grammar Girl)

image by seeka

image by seeka

We continue with Part 2 of a 3-part series, looking at acceptable ways to write some phrases that might have puzzled you. Your publisher may have a preference.

  1. You want to write two or more adjectives to describe something (even though using more than one good adjective in fiction should be infrequent).

Here’s the hierarchy that shows which adjective should be first in the series.

  • Quantity – exact or general number (two, a few, several)
  • Opinion/Observation – (beautiful, honest, tasty)
  • Size – (small, short, large)
  • Temperature – (boiling, cold, tepid)
  • Age – (young, ten-year-old, new)
  • Shape – (octagonal, oval, square)
  • Color – (amber, burgundy, orange)
  • Origin – (American, French, Victorian)
  • Material – (brass, glass, tile)
  • Purpose – -ing words (sleeping bag or cooking pot)

Note: I saw in some lists Shape and Color were reversed.

image by jendalichy0080

image by jendalichy0080

Examples:

Three elderly French priests wandered into the garden.

Her beautiful auburn hair fell around her shoulders.

She bonked him on the head with a Teflon frying pan.

She flashed her oval green eyes.

It was a large hot furnace.

In all these cases, commas aren’t used because the last adjective and the noun are seen as a unit, e.g. auburn hair is a unit described as beautiful. Also, we wouldn’t write “beautiful and auburn hair,” so no comma. (Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS))

image by jendalichy0080

image by jendalichy0080

  1. You want your character to speak in a dialect and end his dialogue with darlin’.

Where do the quotation marks and the comma go?

“Come and find me, darlin’,” he said.

  1. You want your character to show his exasperation and bafflement.

What many writers have used from the 1960s is an interrobang. It’s the combination of a question mark and an exclamation mark:

 

To simulate an interrobang, type ?!. (Most resources preferred ?! over !?.) Your character isn’t really asking a question, but he wants to understand what’s going on. You may receive some flak for using an iterrobang.

What?! (internal)

“What?!” (dialogue)

“He did what?!” (dialogue)

Arrested?! (internal)

  1. You want your first-person character to say the peninsula belongs to Sarah and to him, using a form of my.

You can’t write:

Sarah’s and my peninsula. (My denotes singular possession, but the peninsula belongs jointly to both people.) A different word construction is needed.

image by CSalem

image by CSalem

“Our peninsula, Sarah’s and mine, isn’t for sale.”

I learned this from the Daily Writing Tips blog.

 

 

 

  1. You want to write the names of gearshifts in cars.

I searched several books published by different publishing houses. Here are acceptable ways to write them.

Alex put the car in park.

Alex put the car in Park.

More publishers preferred park.

Acceptable ways to write 5 infrequent phrases – Part 2. Click to tweet.

Would you tell us how to write an infrequent grammar phrase that you discovered?

5 Cases: How to Write Infrequent Phrases – Part 1

“Like everything metaphysical the harmony between thought and reality is to be found in the grammar of the language.” —Ludwig Wittgenstein

image by seeka

image by seeka

Often grammar books and publishers differ in on how to handle grammar rules. Sometimes it’s hard to find the answer. (I’ve thumbed through books to see if anyone else was in my predicament.)

In a 3-part series over the next few weeks, I’ll mention acceptable ways to write some phrases that might have puzzled you. Whichever you choose, be consistent throughout your manuscript. Your publisher may have a preference.

  1. You want to write a sentence that trails off because the character doesn’t know a person’s surname to go with his Mr. title.

“Will you ask Mr. . . . ?” (manual ellipse; space after ellipse)

“Will you ask Mr. . . .?” (manual ellipse; no space after ellipse)

or

“Will you ask Mr. … ?” (software generated ellipse; space after ellipse)

“Will you ask Mr. …?” (software generated ellipse; no space after ellipse)

You add the period to Mr, add a space, type in an ellipse, and end with a question mark. (The Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS) shows the space between the ellipse and the question mark.)

If it isn’t a question:

“He asked Mr. . . .”

or

“He asked Mr. …”

Note: No punctuation after the ellipse in the statement case, and no space between the ellipse and the ending quotation mark.

  1. You want your character to scream in her mind for the man to stop prodding her with questions.

Here are acceptable cases, starting with the woman speaking aloud.

image by Perlinator

image by Perlinator

“Stop it!” (screaming aloud)

“Stop it!” she thought. (quotation marks; not in deep point of view)

She thought, stop it! (no quotation marks; not in deep point of view)

Stop it! (no italics; deep point of view –  option 1)

Stop it! (italics; deep point of view – option 2)

 

  1. You want your character to exclaim something like it’s a single word with no pauses.

No comma is used. (Use commas when there’s a pause.) (CMOS)

Oh boy.

Oh no!

Oh yeah.

No no no!

  1. You want your character to give alternate utterances for yes and no. En dashes are used.

Yes: uh-huh

No: uh-uh

5. You want to use the word which

Here’s how to write it under various cases. Watch for commas and no commas. (CMOS)

He didn’t know which way to go

After her blunder, her cheeks flamed, which added to her embarrassment.

He always gushed over how pretty I was. Which was a pack of lies.

He always gushed over how pretty I was—which was a pack of lies.

(The last two examples could be written as one sentence with a comma after was.)

image by pixeltweaks

image by pixeltweaks

 

Our family reunions were always the sort at which my cousin tortured me with snide comments.

I was stuck in a situation for which I hand no solution.

 

 

 

Acceptable ways to write 5 infrequent phrases – Part 1. Click to tweet.

What issue have you had a hard time finding in a grammar book?

5 Easy Techniques to Bulk Up a Paper-Thin Character

“[An] error of inexperienced writers—or journalists in a hurry—is to confine characterization to the obvious physical attributes.” —Sol Stein

image by OpenClipartVectors

image by OpenClipartVectors

Let’s build a character. I based the 5 easy techniques on Sol Stein’s suggestions in Stein on Writing.

Let’s say we want to introduce the father of our heroine. Telling readers he’s an angry brute gives him a description that’s as flat as the paper we write on.

The Scene. In a diner, the heroine sits beside the hero in a booth facing the door. The heroine’s father enters the diner, intending to drag his twenty-year-old daughter home.

image by skeeze

image by skeeze

Building Block 1: Describe the character through his actions and dialogue.

Dad burst through the diner door like an avalanche.

Building Block 2: Employ Exaggeration

Dad burst through the diner door like an avalanche carrying along a mountain of boulders.

 

angry-774029_1280Building Block 3: Compare the character to a known quality or quantity.

Dad burst through the diner door like an avalanche carrying along a mountain of boulders. His red Angry Bird face whipped left and right until he located us in the last booth.

 

Building Block 4: Characterize the character with a word or phrase— instead of excess details.

UntitledDad burst through the diner door like an avalanche carrying along a mountain of boulders. His red Angry Bird face whipped left and right until he located us in the last booth. I grabbed Andy’s hand beneath the table, as Dad, the wart that no cutting, freezing, or caustic liquid could remove from my existence, barreled toward us.

Building Block 5: Give the character physical or psychological behavior that offers a sense of personality.

image by ClkeFreeVectorImages

image by ClkeFreeVectorImages

Dad burst through the diner door like an avalanche carrying along a mountain of boulders. His red Angry Bird face whipped left and right until he located us in the last booth. I grabbed Andy’s hand beneath the table, as Dad, the wart that no cutting, freezing, or caustic liquid could remove from my existence, barreled toward us. He drew on his habitual sneer, displaying his left-side teeth from his canine to his first molar—the sneer whose purpose I always thought was to let out steam.

 

Hopefully, we brought the angry brute to life.

Replace flat character descriptions with these life-building techniques. Click to tweet.

How would you use one of these suggestions to characterize an ex-boyfriend who shows up?

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American Christian Fiction Writers

American Christian Fiction Writers

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