Misplaced Modifiers Confuse Your Readers

image by Magnascan
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is TYFMI30D-Print-5.75x8.89.jpeg
Write caption…

Tailor Your Fiction Manuscript in 30 Days is now available. See details below.

A misplaced modifier is a word, phrase, or clause placed awkwardly in a sentence. The modifier is improperly separated from the word it modifies and appears to modify or refer to an unintended word.

Examples will make this problem clear. Misplaced modifiers are easy to fix.

1. Confusing: Callie told Missy she needed to bring tomorrow’s picnic lunch today.

If the author meant Callie told Missy today, the reader will wonder why Missy didn’t bring the lunch today. 

Clear: Today Callie told Missy she needed to bring tomorrow’s picnic lunch.

2. Confusing: Karl processed a complaint about loud music from Jessie.

Is the loud music or the complaint from Jessie?

 Clear: Karl processed a complaint from Jessie about loud music.

3. Confusing: The curved bird’s beak was orange.

Is the author talking about a curved bird?

Clear: The bird’s curved beak was orange.

4. Confusing: Junior climbed the escalator stairs that rose to the second floor quickly.

Is Junior climbing quickly or is the escalator rising quickly?

 Clear: Junior quickly climbed the escalator stairs that rose to the second floor.

5. Confusing: The truck towed the mangled teen’s car.

Is the teen mangled?

 Clear: The truck towed the teen’s mangled car.

6. Confusing: Have You Confused Your Reader with a Misplaced Modifier?

This post title could imply the reader has a misplaced modifier.

 Clear: Have You Confused Your Reader by Using a Misplaced Modifier?

7. Confusing: Jack took a pool filter to his boss filled with slimy algae.

Ew. Was Jack’s boss filled with slimy algae?

 Clear: Jack took a pool filter filled with slimy algae to his boss.

As we write, we can easily fail to notice these misplaced words, phrases, and modifiers. We know what we meant. To catch misplaced modifiers, first let the document sit awhile. Then either read the document aloud or have your computer read it to you. The the order of phrases and words should sound awkward to you.

Can you share a humorous example of a misplaced modifier?

The Kindle copy of Tailor Your Fiction Manuscript in 30 Days is available for pre-order. AND if you bought or buy the print copy you can purchase the Kindle copy for $2.99. See Matchbook Price. Pre-Order Kindle

Buy Link

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is TYFMI30D-Print-5.75x8.89.jpeg

Zoe McCarthy’s book, Tailor Your Fiction Manuscript in 30 Days, is a fresh and innovative refocusing of your novel or novella. Through a few simple—and fun—steps, Zoe helps writers take their not-ready-for-publication and/or rejected manuscripts to a spit-polish finish. Writing is hard work, yes, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. —Eva Marie Everson, best-selling and multiple award-winning author, conference director, president of Word Weavers International, Inc.

If you want to increase your chance of hearing yes instead of sorry or not a fit for our list at this time, this book is for you. If you want to develop stronger story plots with characters that are hard to put down, this book is for you. Through McCarthy’s checklists and helpful exercises and corresponding examples, you will learn how to raise the tension, hone your voice, and polish your manuscript. I need this book for my clients and the many conferees I meet at writer’s conferences around the country. Thank you, Zoe. A huge, #thumbsup, for Tailor Your Fiction Manuscript in 30 Days.  —Diana L. Flegal, literary agent, and freelance editor

Tailor Your Fiction Manuscript is a self-editing encyclopedia! Each chapter sets up the targeted technique, examples show what to look for in your manuscript, then proven actions are provided to take your writing to the next level. Whether you are a seasoned writer or a newbie, you need this book! —Sally Shupe, freelance editor, aspiring author



Cramming in Characters: Overloads & Overwhelms Readers

image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images
image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images

A common first-chapter problem is introducing too many characters in the first scene. This can also be a problem for later scenes.

The Problem

  • image by OpenClipart-Vectors
    image by OpenClipart-Vectors
    Readers feel as if they’ve entered a gala with names thrown at them.
  • People can keep track of around three characters at a time.
  • Readers become confused and forget the many characters’ relationships to the protagonist.
  • Authors are less likely to round out people when too many are introduced at once.

Solutions

  • Introduce necessary characters; don’t simply name them.
  • Use names that sound different from names of other people.
  • Determine which characters are crucial. If they don’t have a short or long-term purpose, eliminate them.
  • image by geralt
    image by geralt
    Consider whether two or more characters can be combined into one character.
  • Decide which critical characters can be introduced later. This removes first-chapter overload and starts the story faster.

 

  • Space introductions of essential characters throughout the scene and give each a memorable feature, action, or dialogue.
  • Allow only characters in the first chapter who have purposes that support the setup and keep the focus on the protagonist.
  • Consider this in a scene: At a party, we wouldn’t receive the full background of the twenty people we meet.
  • Introduce two or three new vital characters in scenes subsequent to the first—after readers have had a chance to grasp the story setup. Then, each character can have his own cameo through action, dialogue, and the protagonist’s point of view.

An Example

At Mom’s wake, Millie’s brother, Don, introduced his college roommate, Mark. Before Millie had a chance to say more than hello, Sally and Vera, her mother’s closest friends approached and threw their arms around her. Extricating herself from Mom’s chums, Millie caught a glance of Ron over by the shrimp platter. She needed to speak to him. Of course, Mom’s cousin Emma, had to come. Emily, her daughter, followed her everywhere.

image by Unsplash
image by Unsplash

An Evaluation:

  • Mark never enters the story again or has any purpose.
  • Don and Ron and Emma and Emily are essential, but their names are too similar. Possibly Emma and Emily could be detained and arrive the following day.
  • Although we’re given how each person is related to Millie, we’re given nothing memorable to keep these 8 people straight.
  • Mom’s chums could possibly be combined into one friend.

Better Rewrite:

Millie’s chest caved. Couldn’t Don have honored their mother and come to her wake sober? Millie turned her sisterly glare into a smile as Mom’s closest friend Vera approached with outstretched arms. Vera’s arm flab flapped as she waddled closer. Extricating herself from Vera’s bear hug, Millie caught sight of handsome Erik half hidden by the oriental screen. Was Erik avoiding their needed conversation?

Best Rewrite: Now have moments spaced throughout the scene in which these 4 characters hint at or show their long- and short-term purposes to the chapter and story.

Be deliberate in introducing many characters so readers aren’t overwhelmed or confused. Click to tweet.

What other suggestions do you have for introducing characters?