In James Scott Bell’s book Marketing for Writers Who Hate Marketing, I found the best method for me to create a book cover blurb or copy.
Bell says to write three sentences. In the first sentence we’re to give a character’s name, his vocation, and the story’s opening situation.
In the second sentence, Bell says we should open with “But when.” He says here we give the first turning point of the story often called the inciting incident.
According to Bell, the third sentence should begin with “Now.” He says this sentence should reveal what he calls “death stakes,” something that happens that feels like death to the protagonist.
Here’s my attempt using Bell’s method at rewriting the cover blurb for the third book in my Twisty Creek Series, The Irresistible Woman in a Blue Dress.
Fashion model Vivian Day from Chicago suffers two problems. Her agent is her demanding mother, and she dislikes her career. After a taxing month and a photo shoot in Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mountains, Vivian drives toward a friend’s empty house in Tennessee, hoping for a three-week rest.
Brayden Cole is a Lowe’s store manager in Wytheville, Virginia. On his way home to Twisty Creek, he comes upon a disabled car and a woman in a blue gown and flip-flops. He stops and offers the beautiful, frustrated woman help. Although he cares little for her uppity attitude, Brayden is not a man who abandons a stranded woman on a curvy mountain road.
How will these two opposites from such different cultures and lifestyles find a lasting relationship together?
Example: First Pass Using Bell’s Method
Overworked Chicago fashion model Vivian Day flees a difficult photo shoot in Roanoke, Virginia, and heads for a three-week vacation in Tennessee. But when Vivian detours into the Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains, her car breaks down on a remote mountain road, and home-improvement-store manager, Brayden Cole, struggling with grief for his deceased father, gives the beautiful, frustrated woman wearing a blue gown and flip-flops a ride and, while her car’s in the shop, a room at his mother’s house in Twisty Creek. Now, Brayden’s mother urges him to entertain the big-city woman, and as he reluctantly introduces Vivian to the simple mountain life, she realizes her stressful career and demanding agent, who’s also her mother, have drained joy from her life.
Analysis of the First Pass
The second and third sentences run-on. The “Now” doesn’t seem to be in the right place. I placed it too soon. And the last sentence says Vivian is already “dead.”
Bell says it’s okay to add a bit to the three sentences, so let me break up sentences and do some cutting and rewriting.
Example: Second Pass
Overworked Chicago fashion model Vivian Day flees a difficult photo shoot in Roanoke, Virginia, and heads for a three-week vacation in Tennessee. But when Vivian detours into the Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains, her car breaks down on a remote mountain road. Home-improvement-store manager Brayden Cole gives the frustrated woman wearing a blue gown and flip-flops a ride and, while her car’s in the shop, a room at his mother’s house in Twisty Creek. Brayden’s mother urges him to entertain the big-city woman. Now, as he reluctantly introduces Vivian to the simple mountain life, she realizes her stressful career and demanding agent, who is her mother, are draining joy from her life.
I invite you to critique the blurb to make it better and share one of your own.
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. . . entertain the big-city woman. Braydon, who considers himself as a magnet for women’s woes, reluctantly, introduces Vivian to the quirks and breathtaking views of XXX County. As she experiences the simple mountain life, Vivian realizes her stressful career and demanding agent, who is also her mother, are draining joy from her life.
This does not make your blurb better, but tI’m always looking for the tension of a developing romance when I read the back cover.
Good thought, Marcia.
This was so helpful, Zoe. Thanks for posting it. I’m definitely going to try it.
Glad it was helpful, Erin.